My sweet girl...my have you grown.  In just five short years you started out in my heart with this complex love I totally didn't understand (How could I?  I was a new mom), but it was a deep love that started at your birth and only grows deeper each day God gives me with you!  You, Paige are this amazing gift!  It has been the biggest joy to both me and your dad to watch your personality blossom into this wonderful little girl.

As I was rummaging through pictures, it is amazing how somethings are the same with you...you are so hilariously silly!  You absolutely love to make people laugh, smile and bring joy.  Well...you bring a sense of joy when you walk in the room.  You are so loving to people...doesn't matter who they are.  You share, you give of yourself, and you are such a servant.

I read a blog from a mom, just like myself and she made a list of things that she wants to teach her daughter.  I want to do the same for you.  So, besides presents this year...I want to give this to you as a gift.  As a promise that during the time that I have you in my life, I hope to teach you these things.  Some maybe similar to hers as I love how she put things.  And...they are in no particular order.  Happy, Happy Birthday sweet girl.  She did 100, I did 50...I'm sure I will add as the years go on.  This is a start.

1.  Beauty is a state of mind, and a state of the heart, not a state of the body.
2.  Loving your friends where they are is one of the best gifts you can give a friend.
3.  "There will always be mean girls.  But that doesn't mean we find a tower and Rapunzel ourselves away from the world."
4.  Your daddy has loved you so well.  Use that love as an example when you start to like boys!
5.  Your brother and daddy will teach you how boys should treat you.
6.  You are always welcome in my closet.
7.  The world needs your point of view.
8.  Food should be fuel for your body to do great things.
9.  Your body is capable of doing so much more than you can imagine right now.
10.  Do things because you love to do them, not because someone said you were meant to do them.
11.  Pray.  As much as you can.  Communicating with the almighty God is more powerful than you think.
12.  Dance...even at odd times...it makes all mundane tasks seem more fun.
13.  You will never be too old for me to rock, hug, or snuggle!
14.  The world needs your story!
15.  No prayer request is ever to small, to silly, or too embarrassing to share.
16.  Your family are your teammates...God has brought us together for a reason, and we stick together.
17.  Blue eyes really do melt hearts.
18.  Home is not where we live, but who we love.
19.  Your name was chosen for a reason and hold special meaning to us.
20.  Inevitably, I will disappoint you, but we will work it out together.
21.  Reading books to you, with you, or for yourself is never time wasted.
22.  The best way to never worry about people gossiping about you is to not gossip about anyone else.
23.  Saying sorry first is a sign of strength, not weakness.
24.  I'm on your side, especially when it doesn't feel like it.
25.  "Your body is not just yours.  It is a gift to your husband.  I promise, it is a gift worth unwrapping together."
26. Marriage is an act of courage, commitment, a ton of selflessness, and sacrifice.  But it is the most fun and fulfilling relationships you will ever have the pleasure to enjoy!
27. God says that He made all things good...that includes you.  You are so beautiful and precious.  No matter how you feel about your body.
28.  "I love the curves you and your brother added to my body."
29.  Please cry...sometimes its needed, and sometimes it encourages the heart and says your human.
30.  Christian women aren't immune to sin, bad habits, and cliques.  Love on regardless and forgive graciously.
31.  Pursue your goals and think big.  Even if you fail...at least you tried.  "Failure is just feedback."
32.  Be a great friend.
33.  You can't control what others think of you, so let it go and move forward.
34.  Stop for the small things in life.  Soak them up.
35.  Your dad has lots of things to teach you.
36.  Ask lots of questions.  There are so many great things to learn.
37.  Love waits.
38.  Patience is never wasted.
39.  Don't just Instagram your life, live it.
40.  Real life is always better than online.
41.  Don't be afraid of a broken heart, you will learn so much.
42.  I'm more interested in your growth than in your happiness.
43.  Challenge yourself.
44.  Jesus loves you more than anybody on this earth ever will.  Once you grasp that...love becomes eternal.
45.  Womanhood is a gift.
46.  You are never too old to play.
47.  I will never be tired of being your mother.
48.  I will always come when you call.
49.  You will always be my little girl.
50.  Writing handwritten notes means more to people than you will ever know!

Well, my family is about to embark on a new chapter in our lives, and I honestly can tell you I am at peace.  It feels really good.  Unusually good.  Lots of people have asked what we are doing next, where we are going, etc.  Honestly, I don't have much of an answer.  Our original intent was to build a house in Tega Cay...we put down some cash for a property, but after much thought and driving around, praying, we just didn't feel at peace.  Strange...as it would have been a great setup.  Great neighborhood, great amenities, great school, great everything!  But, there was some unsettling feelings that both Wayne and I were feeling separately, and when we came together during one of our Saturday night date nights  we both just said we need to pull this idea...we just weren't feeling peace.

I will admit, I was a bit frustrated by this feeling because it would have made things a little easier with school and such as registration for Kindergarten starts tomorrow for Paige, but until we have a contract on a house, we cannot register her!  We have a plan B in place, as we weren't even sure if we would sell our house in time, so we feel peace there, as it is a GREAT plan B.  But, I never knew how stressful house hunting could be too...especially when you want to make the right LONG-TERM decision for your family!

Have I ever mentioned I am slightly a "planner, ocd, perfectionist" type of person?  Yeah, well...I try and steer my urges in honorable to God directions, but my control tendencies can often get the best of me, especially when I just don't know!  I'm usually ok with things if I can see or project the future outcome.  Can I say just out loud, that God is really pushing me with this, but even still, I feel at peace!  I haven't really shared this with many people, mostly because it is between me and God, but one of my New Year's resolutions was to practice being quick to listen and slow to speak.  What I really think this has meant for me is to be prayerful in all things.  In fact, I have looked back at our last couple of years as a small family, and prayer and patience has been such a HUGE part of our lives, almost a lifeline.  So, although, slightly reluctant, I needed to release my anxiety about our next steps to Jesus.  Because I was anxious!

So as we leave Hamilton Green today, I know my first steps are to be utterly grateful to God for providing such a great place to live, a roof over our heads, a safe haven for my kids, some amazing memories, all of the guests from the seminary that have stepped through our door to stay with us, the missionaries that we were honored to host because we had the room to host them for short and long-term, the friendships, and just a starting place as Wayne and I were merely newly weds when we bought this house.  What a journey right?

Hang tight, because I KNOW God does amazing things to people that wait for his timing, as hard as it is to wait, to be patient, to NOT know anything, I know He will show up, and He will blow us/you away!

What have you had to wait for and be patient for, and then God has blown you away?  Or...maybe you are waiting too?   I would love to know!