As the caretaker of two little children on this earth, I have lately been contemplating what life would be like with a third.  It has been a hard and emotional place to come to because there are so many variables.  One, being my husband, who is fairly certain two is good for him.  However, he will preface, that if we were in a different financial position, he would be more open.  Which has led me to ask many questions, obviously. 

But, for me the variables are my difficult pregnancies, my anxiousness during my pregnancies with the loss of our first child, and then the responsibilities that come after they are born.  Especially, since I do work and want to continue to work.  It is a frustrating place to be in because I LOVE having children, love them to pieces, and I particularly LOVE when they are the age they are now.  So, one more to me, makes me think the family would be complete.  And, I have an uneasy spirit about where we are now.  For those of you that know me, it translates to a lot going on in the processing of my thoughts, feelings, and even my prayer life with the Lord. 

Lately, I have just prayed for the Lord to make it abundantly clear to the both of us.  Like, change our hearts miraculously.  If it is my heart that needs to be changed, then I want the spirit of contentment to override what I am feeling right now.  If we are to have another one, the Lord is going to have to miraculously speak into my husband's heart to give it a go!  And, of course I would follow. 

I need Scripture to hold my place while I am waiting for some kind of clarity.  The Lord always speaks to me in quiet, and when I am writing, so I ask you to pray with me as I find time to write and journal about this fragile topic.